You are a Girl
“You are a girl. It’s easy for you”, is something every woman who is or aspires to be professionally qualified hears. I heard it too.
“You are a girl, you will get into IIM. We are the ones who have to struggle.”
Well, guess what. Standardized Aptitude Tests aren’t (to the best of my knowledge) calibrated to recognize gender. And someone who’s been on the high school and University debating team has a distinct advantage over the others in GDs and interviews.
Less than a year later after that, it was back again. “Girls always get summer placement in the first weekend itself.” Some did. But most of us had to wait, and during every one of those five weeks when others were getting placed, we were constantly reminded of how it is easy for girls.
“Girls get Day Zero placements even if they aren’t I-Schols,” it was during final placements. By then, the statement had almost stopped hurting. But we saw a new aspect of discrimination. After clearing multiple rounds of interviews, when I finally made it to the last interview of my Dream Job, the question came, “what would you do if your child falls ill on a day when you have an important presentation.” I fumbled and was out. Why are men never asked that question. Do they not marry or have kids?
The statements never end:
“You are a girl. You will get a cushy department.”
“You are a girl. You will get promoted before us.”
“You are a girl. Nobody will question if you leave early.”
That ‘cushy department’ was a 6 month deputation to a location where I was the sole occupant of the company guest house. The promotion almost never came because a boss had messed up my appraisal since he didn’t like women who were ‘over smart’. I did leave office earlier than the others, but I also checked in long before they did.
Women balance greater expectations at home, with the demands of the workplace. Women miss out on informal networking opportunities because they aren’t a part of the Boys Gang (and please don’t tell us the gang doesn’t exist- we know it does). Women struggle to find washrooms when they have to travel. Women take on the tougher assignments because to refuse would mean being branded ‘weak’.
Women learn to ignore misogynistic remarks. Women pretend not to notice the condescending manner in which they are treated. Women accept the fact that they will find it much more difficult to be heard and taken seriously.
Worst of all, women learn to shoulder the burden of the gender. When a man makes a mistake, it is a mere stumble. When a woman makes the same mistake, the entire gender gets branded and questioned.
Yet, when a women says “every woman I meet at the top position is extraordinary. Many men I meet at the top position are quite ordinary”, she is called out for the statement. Isn’t it time men acknowledge the truth. That despite their perceived victimization, it is women who struggle in the workplace.
